RENITA & MICHAEL's
June 7, 2014​
WEDDING TODAY
Grand Rapids, MI
​Michael's Story
​
The story of what brings me to this happy day is a road potmarked by some unhappy events. Suffice to say here that I am someone who has a very sad and difficult divorce in his past. That experience made me believe that it was more than likely that I would remain alone for the rest of my days.
At first this thought frightened me. By early in January I was beginning to accept this and was even moving to a place where the line from the hymn by Martin Luther had become a bit of a theme for this time in my life. When I would feel sad at my losses I would hum: "...let goods and kindred go..." I saw that God had given me this life and I needed to see his hand and work in it such as it was, and not to look for another nor be ungrateful for the life I had. I was moving towards wanting to be a blessing to others, if not with money, since I didn't have riches, then with friendship, caring, service, and prayer.
In that spirit, a couple of innocent message exchanges on facebook with Renita occured in February. For my part, I saw this exchange of messages to be an encouraging word. However, slowly, steadily, organically these exchanges evolved into a long and deeply personal conversation. We moved from messaging through facebook to talking on skype. At first I believe a deep friendship was being born. I was right!
At one point we realized we were talking on skype hours of each day in the mornings and nights, whenever the 7 or 8 time zone changes allowed us some moments. Fairly enough, sometime in April, Renita asked me what was happening between us.
By May we were falling in love! I remember in particular one Saturday where we were on Skype for most of the day. I'm sure the internet usage was off the charts. We read books. I took the computer with me into the kitchen when I prepared a meal. We had a nice lazy Saturday as couples do when they're not 7500 miles apart and I loved it. I remember thinking that I really wanted many many more Saturdays in life to be like this, where we could just be in each other's company and feel profoundly content.
In June when Renita returned to Grand Rapids, we met in person for the first time and soon felt like we'd always wanted to be together. For three magical months we saw each other most days. Renita returned to Kenya on Sept 11, and took my heart with her.
We maintained and deepened our connection by reading books and scripture together, and daily having long conversations on Skype. Our plan for me to visit Renita in Kenya was hatched early in the Fall. The days ground on, but finally January 19, I boarded an airplane that began my journey towards Kenya.
January 21, 2014, on my 49th birthday, after a magical day in Kenya where we got to see giraffes, hippos, lions, and even elephants, I could not wait any longer. That evening in a lovely restaurant on the hippo and crocodile filled river, I knelt before Renita and asked for her hand in marriage. Funny that this rather loquatious editor barely fumbled out the words. Her warm welcoming YES was all I needed to heal the break in my heart.
The relationship from "hello" has seemed to be a gift from God. As neither of us were seeking out the other, that we found in each other this grace and gift is something that we have been humbled by and are seeking to honor in how we each love and share and be God's love with each other.
A few lines from a recent poem concludes this part of an adventure that is, I pray and hope, merely beginning:
As your horizon and mine are wed,
My love, voice and touch now one,
Embraced, enfolded in angel wings,
And now wordless as spirit sings,
Praise--Beloved! We are undone,
And remade, sharing this Holy bread.
Elation,
Solace,
Rapture.
​
Renita's Story
The story of what bring me to this happy day is a road marked by one unhappy event. My husband of 19.5 years, my best friend, and my closest colleague, passed away very suddenly after being ill for just a few hours while we served in Accra, Ghana. My entire world changed in that moment. While I continued to serve in Ghana, the next year was a year of shock and survival. The subsequent year was a year of grieving. It was in the third year that I started working on redefining who Renita, as a middle-aged single widowed missionary in Africa was to be. I was blessed to find great peace and joy, and I was very sure that I would remain single and serve God on the mission field for the remainder of my life.
Enter Michael Thomson and some innocent Facebook messages. Having moved to Kenya by myself in January of 2013, I found that checking in on Facebook in the evenings to see what friends and family were up to, was a source of comfort for me. Michael (a member of my home church) and I began to connect occasionally, and as he describes in his story, it began to get more regular, and the conversation grew deeper.
Michael connected to me in a way that felt more real than anyone else had in years. He was affirming, encouraging, supportive, challenging, and a man who sought the heart of God. I was surprised to find myself looking forward to any message from Michael. As we began to share, our conversations got deeper and deeper, and I found Michael to be wise, intelligent, strong, with a very quick mind. There was much healing that was happening for both of us as our friendship grew; needs that I didn't even know I had, began to be met through Michael.
A pivotal point for me was in May while attending the Business as Mission Congress in Thailand. It was during that time that we had our first Skype "dates" as the internet was strong enough for us to have video. We had several hours of dates in that way, getting to know each other the best way we could given our distance. In many ways, I feel like I fell in love with Michael in Thailand! I actually told him I loved him for the first time while standing in a Nairobi bus station, on my way to Kitale. Not your typical romance! During the summer we took many walks together and had many talks, juggling our work, our children, and this new relationship. It was a precious time that seemed to go very fast.
Having Michael come to Kenya this past January was also very important. I have lived in Africa since 2005 and it has become my home in many ways. It was so important for me to be able to show him my world and for him to see my work. Seeing animals together was also a highlight and of course, having him propose to me in Kenya was great! And I loved that he was nervous and not loquatious when he proposed - it was very sweet and very real!
I have been blessed to know the love of a man who was my best friend. After he was gone, I thought I was strong enough to continue on my own. But God has seen fit to provide me with the love of another man, who is now my best friend. His original design of providing a helper suitable for me still holds true today. Michael is my most suitable partner, even though we have spent most of our courtship 7500 miles apart from each other. And I want to be his helper too, even though our work keeps us separate for a time.
A song that we have enjoyed together is by VanMorrison. Some of the words are:
There's a love that's divine
And it's yours and it's mine
And it shines like the sun
At the end of the day
we will give thanks and pray to the One
Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away my sadness
Ease my troubles,
that's what you do